More like jokes rather than words of wisdom; after all, when you have sex you think about the Big F**k, not about the Big Bang.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro
It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.
My wife and I practice "Doggy Style:" I beg, she rolls over.
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, you probably won't either.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz convertible.
I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Men are like coffee, If their good, they're rich... warm and keep you up all night.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
The differance between a slut and a whore? A whore will sleep with anyone... A slut will sleep with anyone but you.
Stephen Lee Dekat
A human being is the best computer available to place in a spacecraft. It is also the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Werner Von Braun
You only have to mumble a few words in church to be married, and a few in your sleep to get a divorce.
But you know what life really is? You're born, you suck your mother's tits. You get a little older, you suck your girlfrineds tits. You get a little older you suck your wife's tits. That's what life is. Life sucks.
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try a differant position.
Why are women... so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it's 100% fatal.
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals, and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. It's not that God Doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
I admit, I have a bit of penis envy. They're ridiculous, but they're cool!
A woman's favorite position is CEO.
Don't make love by the garden gate, cause love is blind but the neighbors aint.
Virginity - You use it, you loose it.
On average, everybody has one testical.
It isn't premarital sex if you don't get married.
A mistress comes between a mister and his mattress
Life's a bitch. A good life is a lot of bitches!
Steven B. Milum
wife VS. work - After 10 years work still sucks.
Women are lucky, they can get pussy when ever they want.
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Sex is only the business of the pile of people involved.
Every Harlot was a Virgin once.